This may be the first of several installments on surviving the single life from the point of view of a slightly jaded twenty-something... I've got more than a little insight into the subject, especially over the last few years...
So, Mr. Right turned out to be Mr. Liar, Mr. Cheater, Mr. Non-committal, Mr. Emotionally Unavailable, Mr. Codependent, Mr. Empty Promises, Mr. Psychologically Unstable, Mr. Immature, Mr. Unemployable, Mr. Jealous, Mr. Everything-But-Right... First of all, let me say, welcome to the club. You are in excellent company, rest assured. Secondly, allow me to propose some suggestions (from my own twisted experiences) for survival. Afterall, you CAN and WILL survive; more than survive, you will THRIVE.
Survival tip #1... I call this '5 days of fat'... giggle if you will, but i swear by it. It works. Allow yourself 5 days (no more, no less) to lose a litle control. Eat whatever you want (most likely, this will be LOTS and LOTS of carbs), skip the gym if you feel like it, curl up on the couch with a pint of ben and jerries, don't shave your legs, wear your saggy shapeless sweats, etc. DO NOT beat yourself up for this; you are entitled to grieve. Remember though, this is for only 5 days. At the end of 5 days, you resume the awesome-ness that is you.
Survival tip #2... SHOP. Buy something cute, something fun, something fancy, something you never would have worn with your ex, something youve always been intrigued by but never had the guts to rock, whatever makes you HAPPY. I wholly encourage a purchase that excentuates your favorite features... it will remind you of just how smokin hot you are, and how huge a loss it is FOR HIM.
Survival tip #3... CRY. Your friends, family, coworkers, whatever, will all say he isn't worth the tears. They are correct. However, the chapter of your life that is closing and the parts of yourself that you selflessly gave to him are worth mourning, and crying is a perfectly healthy release. Don't overdo it. I try to keep my tears within my 5 days of fat (see tip #1).
Survival tip #4... Re-connect... So, truth is, to some extent, we are all guilty. We meet a man, we get a little twitterpated, we want to spend more time with him. As a result, we skip girls' night this week, we forget to return calls to our girl friends, to an extent we lose touch with our friends (who, lest we forget, have been our support group long before the newest beau and who will be there long after he has gone). Now is the time to remember why they have stayed no matter how many men have come and gone. Offer to host a girls' night at your place, invite your girl friends out for drinks, simply call and catch up. You'd be there for them, let them be there for you.
Survival tip #5... Take some time to remember all of the reasons you are amazing. Because no matter what happened with Mr. Nope, YOU ARE AMAZING. Pat yourself on the back for all of the accomplishments you have been downplaying. Make a list of all the reasons any man would be lucky to have you (and believe that any man would indeed be lucky to have you). Get up each morning, look in the mirror, and tell yourself something like 'Good morning beautiful girl" and BELIEVE it.
Survival tip #6... Do not, and i repeat, DO NOT rebound, call up old boyfriends, have a one-night stand. Sure, if you feel ready, get back out there and allow the male population the opportunity to prove they arent all the same. Don't entirely close yourself off to all possibilities (God works in funny funny ways), but be smart and respect yourself. Sleeping with some guy you meet in a bar may make you feel sexy and desirable and adventurous tonight, but we all know it will leave you feeling empty and trashy and worthless tomorrow morning. SO NOT WORTH IT. You love you too much for that.
Survival tip #7... Pray. Maybe even ask others to help you out and pray for you. It's amazing what a little prayer can do for your peace of mind. Life may suck, but God is still good.
Like i said, maybe the first installment... as i progress through the stages of heartbreak and self-discovery, I may find myself having more epiphanies I care to share. Now to work on taking my own advice....
No comments:
Post a Comment