as predicted, a second installment in a theory on love and relationships from a pseudo-jaded and yet wholly optimistic twenty-something. funny, the evolution of perspective as the heart heals and and finds fulfillment...
so... truth be told, we aren't getting any younger.
*GASP*
yep, i went there. and since the clocks won't be ticking backward anytime in the near future, we don't really have much choice but to move forward. and if we were married, and having children, and driving carpool on tuesday and thursday mornings, this wouldn't be nearly as terrifying, right? I mean, since we're quickly approaching (thirty) and not married, this leaves our entire future and existence in a state of limbo, doesn't it? surely there is something wrong with us...
i'd be willing to bet the previous thought process, or some variation thereof, has entered the mind of every single female in her twenties at some point (ladies, i want to be clear, 'single' in this case is defined as not married, NOT to be confused with alone). we see our friends settling in, settling down, or heck, let's face it, just plain settling, and we wonder why not us.
please do not mistake these meandering thoughts as any attempt at expert analysis or advice. but, if i have learned anything over the last few years, with the culmination of my "knowledge" developing over the last 6 weeks or so, it is this: If you are truly ready to meet prince charming, it is time to stop kissing frogs.
so, what the heck does that mean? ladies (and gentlemen) i propose the following suggestions... take them as you will...
Your worth is not defined by how "hot" guys think you are, a number on a scale, a bra size, how many men "want" you, how small your jeans are, etc. Stop thinking, talking, and acting as if it is. Wait for a man who knows, and who finds ways to remind you, that your worth lies at the core of who you are, and that your defining features are your heart, soul, and mind, NOT your 'T & A'.
Negativity breeds negativity, and positivity breeds positivity. Don't believe me? Try this: for one whole week, every time you think a negative thought, replace it with a positive thought. You will feel better, and people around you will take notice. Then, surround yourself with other positive people. (Once you've made your own changes, this will come easily) Wait for a man who feeds off of, and into, your positive attitude.
Stop settling. Stop settling. Stop settling. If you have thought anything similar to "well, i guess that only happens in the movies," "i guess that's just old fashioned," "i guess guys like that don't really exist," i am here to suggest that you are, indeed, settling. STOP. you deserve to have all of those 'little things' and chivalry is NOT dead. Stop settling for less than you deserve (which, in case you forgot, is only the best). Wait for a man who offers the best of himself in the big and small things.
Find a man who makes you better by knowing him. If he leads you in anyway to compromise who you are or what you value, do not walk away. RUN. Prince charming should challenge you (in a good way), motivate you, and inspire you. He should never NEVER tear you down, manipulate you, or discourage your dreams.
Love, and let yourself be loved (the latter part of this statement is more important than you think). You are worthy of a 'love of a lifetime'; let it happen. Do not allow your fears, insecurities, and doubts to keep you from revelling in what God has prepared for you. Do not question WHY he loves you, do not over-analyze HOW he loves you, just let him LOVE you. 'The greatest of these is love...'
And last but not least, when you find yourself lucky enough to have found prince charming, remember that it's his fairy tale, too. He's been waiting and praying and wishing on stars for you, too. After all, happily ever after was meant to be together <3
Well said <3
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