amanda's (not so) scientific evaluation of calories...

raise your hand if you ever have been, or currently are, on a "diet" (this includes all of you who are "changing your lifestyle", "watching your weight", "trying to lose a few", "cutting carbs", "getting healthy", etc, etc, etc...). while i would bet almost every one of you reading this just raised your hand, i would challenge those few of you who didn't to keep reading; there's a good chance you will be someday...

being that almost everyone is "dieting" in some form or another these days, it seemed appropriate to me that i should share some advice on how to manage the dreaded 'c' word: CALORIES... (cue dramatic music). so, here it is. my (not so) scientific evaluation of calories...

• Vacation calories do not count. Don't believe me? In 2009, I spent a week on a cruise ship while dieting. My goal was simply to maintain my loss and not to gain. I ate, I drank, I enjoyed. And I'll be darned, I came back 4 lbs lighter. Then, in February of this year, I traveled to Hawaii. Yet again, eating, drinking, merriment. Came back 1.5 lbs lighter. Trust me friends, calories consumed while on vacation = FREE.

• Birthday calories do not count. That is, calories consumed in celebration of your own birthday do not count. However, for those of you who celebrate your birthdays for a week (or the better part of a month in some cases), tread carefully. Calories consumed in denial of your current progressing age are also free.

• Fellowship calories do not count. Latte and a donut after church on Sunday? God's got it. Bible study over chips and dip and fresh baked brownies (or whatever other high fat, high calorie treat the skinny girl in your bible study group brought)? Yep, God's got those too. Yet another reason to thank God.

• Bedroom calories do not count. Calories consumed in the midst of bedroom adventures (chocolate sauce, whipped cream, strawberries, champagne, or whatever other accoutrement you crazy kids are into) are, you guessed it, FREE. 20 bucks says you'll be burning any of those calories off anyway.

• Break up calories do not count. Refer to the '5 days of fat' in "what to do when your knight in shining armor turns out to be a doofus in tin foil". All those calories are burned mending your broken heart. Promise.

And, last but not least...

• Happiness calories do not count. If you enjoyed steak and lobster with friends, ice cream with your children, cheesecake with your mom, a cheeseburger with your love, or anything that brought you true joy, the calories most certainly do not count. The time spent surrounded by friends and loved ones and the happiness therein easily cancels out any potential damage to your diet.

To wrap up, just keep this in mind... if we all counted our blessings as diligently as we count our calories, we'd probably all be a lot happier. Cheers to what really counts!